“Do not trust what you see, when you feel the truth.”

What we see, may not be the full picture. 

Especially, when our brilliant mind finds explanations and reasons to support our first impression on something, or even worse: we fool ourselves into seeing what we want to see.

Trust your instincts: they are what have made us survive for this long. A wise friend once said to me: our instincts are the collection of all the experiences of our ancestors. To be frank, I haven’t done much research on that statement, but for now, I really love it’s meaning. We have eternal wisdom flowing through us and all we need to do, is trust ourselves.

We feel what we feel for a reason, if we bottle it all up instead of exploring the root of it, we will not be able to see clearly. 

Whether it be in friendship or romance: we might see what someone does for us, but most times we do not see the ‘why’. But if pay attention, we feel their intention. 

So, perhaps it seems as though what they’re doing is for you when it’s actually for their own benefit. This is especially difficult to see when you’re good-natured, for we’re all just a reflection of each other. In most cases, we do not see traits or mindsets we do not have as quickly in others as the ones we do possess. So, perhaps it is unimaginable for us to ever intentionally hurt someone, while the other couldn’t care less about whether they hurt someone with their behaviour or not. Then, they hurt us and disappear, something we ourselves would never do just like that. So, we talk about it with a friend, and they tell us they could smell this coming from miles away. Most of the time, good friends have an objective view on situations or are able to share a word of advice from their own experiences.

Obviously, we’re not blind to it when someone clearly acts out their intentions etc. without a care in the world, but people think and strategies. You read about it in history books, it happens in business every day, and people also do it in their personal lives. Most of the time to ‘gain’ something. This does not mean, we cannot trust anyone we meet, or that we should be questioning everything we see or always be cautious: but notice your feelings around certain people, especially your gut feeling.

An easy example? If your dream person to date shows up on a beautiful Sunday morning and whisper sweet words into your ear and showers you with roses or whatever it is that you love the most, we’re blinded fairly quickly. Because we want to see them as that ‘good person’ they act like.

There are so many different situations and examples one can relate to this, but writing it all down would require a whole book. So, we’ll leave it with prince charming in this sweet blog entry.

The point is: We see them as we want to see them. Vice versa.

Therefore we won’t truly be able to take a person for who they really are, but that’s a different topic. What matters now is, that every action has a reaction. The question is, does their action come from a genuine place?

Can we trust what we see? What they show us? Sometimes. 

But what we can trust even more is our gut feeling: for you’ll know the difference between feeling relaxed and being yourself freely or feeling as though you need to be on your guard or as though something is off.

Notice how you feel when you’re with someone: free or caged into their expectations or perception of you? Do you feel safe? Do you feel as if you can truly be yourself? Do you feel like they are genuine and being their true self? If you hesitate with answering ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, I encourage you to tap into your feelings and explore them. Ask yourself ‘why’ and trust your gut. 

Most of the time, we feel the truth of what’s going on, but don’t want to listen. For sometimes, it’s not as pleasant as the things we see.

I’ve been in situations where I thought I saw good in someone or a situation, but my gut feeling was telling me to be cautious. I wasn’t and fell on my face. Nowadays, I have learned that lesson, as well as that any lesson in life will get louder the more we ignore it. 

So, try to learn and remember it the first time around. 

Don’t be fooled by what you see – for it can be very misguiding. Trust that you can feel the truth. Because you can, when you pay attention. 

This doesn’t mean you will get it right for the rest of your life, so do not beat yourself up if something happens you did not sense before but feel like you could have picked up on if you would have listened to yourself more: maybe it was a friendly reminder, so you could avoid something much worse further down the line.

In gratitude always,

Veronika Foer

Ps: I say notice your feelings and explore your feelings, for sometimes we pick up on other people’s emotions and feel them instead of our own. So, make sure that what you’re feeling comes from within you, by tapping into it. If you want to read more about this, click here

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