“We were sculpted before we were created.”

Have you ever had a piece of candy, which blew your mind? A certain taste you swore you would always remember and wanted more of.

Eventually, after the 8th piece of candy which found it’s way into your mouth; the taste – still the same, and yet the excitement has faded. The rush of this new sensation has gone, and the candy is nothing but another kind in a hundred you’ve had before. 

We’ve gotten used to the taste, lost the appreciation. 

It’s not our fault we get used to things so quickly: it’s in our nature. We adapt to everything and continue to strive for something new, something better.

It is the same with our facial features and body: we’ve gotten so used to the way we look that we rarely appreciate the unique features our eyes see when we look at pictures of ourselves or into the mirror. Throw in a bit of Entertainment Industry Marketing and a pinch of comparison, and here begins the rollercoaster of self-esteem issues and insecurities! Buckle up, it’s quite a ride and funnily enough, the people at the very top, sit right beside you – for they feel just as you do. 

The media is so flushed with beauty standards that everyone one is looking around, trying to look like each other as the longing of fully being accepted drives them to inject their lips or train to slim down their waist. Not because they need to, not because they’re not beautiful already: but because we see these people with these features ‘living their best lives’ – being accepted, being admired, being loved, being happy: and when it comes down to it all of us just want to be happy.

We’re all the same, we’re all equally great with different strengths and weaknesses, but who profits from that belief?

Who profits, when every single one of us accepts and loves themselves relentlessly? 

  A ton of people who sell great quality and health-oriented products, actually. 

  But a ton of people would also go out of business. 

Especially the latter is profit-orientated. It’s not you, they care about it’s the number on their bank account. They make us believe that “when I look like that…”, “when I have…” THEN I’ll be happy. But think again: what will the moment feel like when you get “that”? It will feel exactly as this moment right now, so scratch the ‘when’, focus on your strengths, and only change things you feel like changing from within. Not because someone told you (e.g. through ads) that you’ll feel or look better with whatever it is they’re trying to sell.

Our society, we, have become more and more visual-oriented with the rise of the fast-paced virtual world. We judge within seconds and appearance is everything – no wonder we all feel constant pressure and run around trying to find the perfect beauty formula which will make everyone love us. 

Judgment, to some degree, is naturally embedded into our biology: it’s a survival instinct to keep away from danger. I could go into the specifics here, but it would be too much information for our ever-growing short attention span. If you feel like knowing more about it, here’s a quick overview. 

Anyway, we are quick to judge and most of us follow certain people for the simple reason of how they look. I am certainly guilty of it. And I will not start going on a ramble on how there’s so much more to us than our appearance, for we should know that by now; what we hold within is what we glow/shine/radiate to the world outside. So, why follow someone for the way they look? Honestly, it’s just another celebration and appreciates for nature, for the world, for each other: so go for it when you feel like it. Spread love wherever you go! 

Also, while we ‘follow’ others, we create our own path: what we forget in creation is, that we are simultaneously following our path but from a first-person perspective whereas the people around us get the third-person view. Vice Versa.

But be aware: there is a fine line between admiring and comparing. 

Make sure you don’t fall into the latter, for then you’ll find yourself on that terrible rollercoaster of self-esteem issues and insecurities all over again: and perhaps, you’ve just left that ride a while ago when you realized that you look exactly the way you look. You. No one else can pull that look off beside you. Own it.

Beauty is such a personal and subjective topic: you won’t always like, what I like.

So catch a glimpse of your own greatness and build your foundation on that.

And maybe you’re reading this thinking: dude, you don’t have my nose…

Whatever you believe your “flaw” or “imperfection” to be – they’re neither of the two. These two terms should be used to refer to technical systems or political systems, not when we’re talking about ourselves or others. 

I do not believe our appearance has any imperfections: they’re just different from someone else’s or this century’s “ideal beauty standard”. For instance, being thin is ‘in style’ as some high fashion brands continue to present their art on the thinnest of bodies: and yet, in another century curves were a symbol of wealth and high class. 

So really, trends are temporary and shouldn’t be taken all too seriously. The world has changed, there’s a place for every-body.

Make sure you’re healthy and feel good: admire more than you compare, and change the inner critic in you, into an inner supporter. 

Accept yourself, and love yourself fearlessly. We’re only around here once.

Before we know it, we’re all grey and old (and still beautiful) and will think of all the times we worried more about the way we looked, than experiencing life to it’s fullest.

Yet, I know it’s easier said than done. It can be quiet the journey from disliking to loving ourselves: my greatest advice? 

Begin by accepting yourself – “neutralise” your opinion of yourself and once you’ve got that foundation, begin to see how beautiful you are and tell yourself that in the mirror every day. And one day, you’ll know and feel it every day without having to think twice about it. 

Trust, we were sculpted before we were created – which makes us an art piece which everyone will perceive and understand differently, but it’s still art.

You are pure art, exactly as you are.

In gratitude always,

Veronika Foer

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