I have never given in to another
to another person, nor to love.
I’ve watched from a distance, smiling.
Enjoying the occasional adrenaline of a ‘maybe’ or ‘what if’.
My mind trapped in rationality and my feelings suffocated by it.
Always teasing, always chasing, but never truly giving in to the connection, the person nor the moment.
A false sense of confidence in my movement and arrogance in my smile: delusional in thinking
that I have got you wrapped around my finger while I’m loosely hanging from yours:
eyes on you but one foot in the exit door.
the excuses: youth, adventures and an obsession of “I could do better”
never settling and always searching for the one without your flaws
or somebody who is worth my patience
worth the stress, worth the risk of getting hurt
and as realization slowly melts aways the illusion of always being the lucky one
and always having the upper hand
there is clarity: for caution is good, but not when it comes to love.
caution should be in the process of selecting, though when you find that special one
keep your eyes on them and leave
and the “i could do better”
when you take your foot away from the exit door and grow your patience.
– Veronika Foer