give in – prose

I have never given in to another

  to another person, nor to love.

I’ve watched from a distance, smiling.

 Enjoying  the occasional adrenaline of a ‘maybe’ or ‘what if’.

My mind trapped in rationality and my feelings suffocated by it.

Always teasing, always chasing, but never truly giving in to the connection, the person nor the moment.

A false sense of confidence in my movement and arrogance in my smile: delusional in thinking

once again

 that I have got you wrapped around my finger while I’m loosely hanging from yours:

eyes on you but one foot in the exit door.

 the excuses: youth, adventures and an obsession of “I could do better”

never settling and always searching for the one without your flaws

 or somebody who is worth my patience

worth the stress, worth the risk of getting hurt

and as realization slowly melts aways the illusion of always being the lucky one

 and always having the upper hand 

there is clarity: for caution is good, but not when it comes to love.

 caution should be in the process of selecting, though when you find that special one 

give in.

 keep your eyes on them and leave 

 the rationality, 

    the arrogance, 

       and the “i could do better”

when you take your foot away from the exit door and grow your patience.

– Veronika Foer

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